She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
