dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
