I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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