So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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