I just made out with a guy for $7.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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