but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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