just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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