I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
