i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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