Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
