billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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