I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
