Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize