just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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