why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
