About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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