Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
