i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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