My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
