so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
