where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
