I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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