i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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