Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
