He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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