Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
