Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
