Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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