I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
