is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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