All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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