Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
