Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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