His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
