Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
