gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Pooping to opera.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
