oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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