No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
