so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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