Can Purell be used as lube?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize