WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
