nut hugger
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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