so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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