I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
