My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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