Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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