is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
