i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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