he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
