I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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