Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
