You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
