People with herpes should wear stickers.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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