I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
