So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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