is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
