Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
