Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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