I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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