Betty ford says i'm here all night
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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