Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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