Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
