Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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