im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
