In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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