I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
